I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Zooey Deschanel has a new show called New Girl. Oh heck, who am I kidding? Of course you’ve heard about this because the entire Internet is in love with her, it's probably trending on Twitter, and there's gigantic ad of her entire body plastered in just about every tube station in London.
I know lots of people l-o-v-e her and think New Girl is great. I’ve avoided watching any clips from it through fear that my sneaking suspicion that I don’t actually really care for Deschanel all that much is true. I want to like her, I really do, but there’s been something stopping me from fully embracing the Zooey powerhouse, despite enjoying her music and her films.
I watched New Girl on 4oD, and I have to say, Rosamund Urwin’s description of New Girl and Jess, Deschanel’s character, as being “a bundle of ‘kooky’ quirks rather than a fully developed character” and the show’s writers mistaking “hysterical (over-emotional) for hysterical (funny)” being spot-on, but unfortunately that’s only the tip of the Problems With New Girl iceberg.
While Deschanel’s character Jess has the essence of being a “normal” woman in her late twenties - a bit quirky, a bit of a nerd - the portrayal is so over-the-top she seems like a caricature of...well, Zooey Deschanel.
Yes, her geek glasses, self-sung theme song and quirks may seem to make her more accessible than, say, Rachel from Friends or any other woman in a TV sitcom, but Jess is, quite frankly, a hot mess.
Three Men and a Kooky
She catches her boyfriend cheating (whilst doing a *hilarious* striptease for him in which she knocks over a plant because she is just soooo clumsy!) and needs to move out. Naturally, she finds a house full of three attractive single men who need a roommate online, and deems it the best place for her to live.
In between being adorable and kooky and singing to herself, Jess spends her time lying on the sofa and crying hysterically whist watching Dirty Dancing over, and over, and over again. Her roommates are obviously scared of talking to her because she’s a hysterical woman, but they find a way to help her pull herself together. This is the running theme throughout New Girl, so much so, that they should seriously think about changing the strapline from “Boys will be boys, Jess will be Jess” to “It took 1 man to screw up her life, and 3 to fix it!”
The boys decide to help her despite only knowing her for 11 minutes, and take her under their hairy-armpit-ed wing, much like Cher did for Tai in Clueless. They let her know when she’s set her hair on fire, they give her advice on how to approach men, they even remind her to shave her legs (“front and back!”) and save her from being stood-up on her rebound date.
Speaking of this fun rebound date, she got the date because she “hid her crazy” and flat-out said she needed to have “rebound sex”, and then we’re supposed to be disgusted that the guy she was going on a date with didn’t show up because she was texting him too much because all he wanted was - surprise! - rebound sex.
"Stop it! STOP IT!"
Overall, the first episode of New Girl was all about how Kooky Crazy Jess is so kooky that she needs the help of three men and her model best friend to help sort her life out. (And by her life, I mean love life, because that’s all that’s important.) I mean, she was going to wear denim overalls and her GLASSES on a DATE until her BFF literally gave her the LBD off of her back and helped her walk in her Louboutins. (Louboutins which she fell over trying on and couldn’t get back up again because she is soooo clumsy.)
We’re no doubt meant to identify with Jess and laugh with her because, OMG, she is just like us. But at the end of the day, she seems more than a little unstable yet apparently meant to be a teacher. A TEACHER.
Couldn't she be kooky and still be able to have a normal conversation without singing to herself? Does Jess have to be so hysterical and all over the place that she needs help from everyone else all of the time? Can’t she even take a shower without needing advice and instructions from her male roommates? The promo shot for New Girl above just says it all. Why is she doing that?
To be honest, I found the three male roommates more entertaining than Deschanel, but this is probably because they weren't falling over and behaving like a twee, desperate, hysterical person. In fact, the best part of the show was when Winston aka "Coach" yells "STOP IT!" at Jess, because YEAH, JESS. STOP. IT.
I suppose we should be a bit thankful that a female character on TV is getting attention without being a Real Housewife or self-tanning in Essex, Chelsea or the Jersey Shore. However, it feels like Mindy Kaling’s Seven RomCom Archetypes has basically come to life in New Girl. And, really, I think we should all expect a bit more if not better from Deschanel, and the show's creator, Elizabeth Meriwether.
I will probably give New Girl a try again next week, just to see if the Jess calms the hell down. Maybe they went nuts with the first episode. Maybe Jess will be better after she's playing Hysterical Break-Up Woman. Or, maybe, New Girl really is as disappointing as it seems.