Lily Allen and Cheryl Cole have never been very nice to each other. In fact they’ve been publicly, viciously horrible – insults like “chick with a dick” and “stupid bitch” have been flying back and forth for ages.
But what neither of them seem to get is that even though they’re brilliant on their own, together they could rule the world. Maybe. They’d make me happy anyway.
I love both of them for different reasons, but at the base of their coolness is a strength and a spiky quality that makes them similar. They have opinions, and they’re interesting. There’s more to them than their looks – there’s character and personality and they’re not stupid.
I’ve probably spent about four hours at a time working out how to make them be my friends. Which makes me a loser, but I’m OK with that and have come to terms with it.
If only they’d realise their own power. Instead of sniping at each other, and chipping away at their own self confidence, they should combine their intelligence and mass appeal. Young women like them have to be tough – they get lots of rubbish thrown at them, they have every imperfection circled and magnified in magazines, and public opinion and the media can be harsh on girls. Which is why they should support each other, join forces, and save their biting comments for real idiots.
One of the reasons Girls Aloud are so successful is that they like each other. They back each other up and seem stronger together than on their own. I think this kind of attitude should extend to the way all female pop stars treat each other – it might sound a bit “lets all hug each other sisters”, but what’s the point of wasting your energy on being horrible to someone who’s similar to you in so many ways? It’s playing into the hands of the press and the mean old gossip magazines who enter a state of frenzied delight when women start sniping at each other.
There’s been a slight thawing of relations recently, with Lily, 24, saying she felt sorry for Cheryl, 25, when the horrible Ashley cheated on her. But I won’t be happy until I see them arm in arm and skipping across a field together, like in Little House on the Prairie.
Here’s a selection of Lily’s and Cheryl’s comments.
Read them, and then try telling me that they shouldn’t be 1) best friends and 2) joint president of the universe:
Lily:
On Kate Moss for Topshop:
“Kate’s clothes are just for skinny, perfect girls. I won't be buying any. I couldn't get into those tiny hotpants if I tried, and if I did I'd look ridiculous. The hard thing is to get everybody of every size to look fantastic. That's the real deal. Fashion should be a laugh and be for everybody.”
On being yourself:
“I think it's better to be honest about the way you are in life than to hide it. With me, you know what you're getting from the start.”
On charity:
“I am going to be going to Afghanistan or the Congo in a few weeks to help War Child. They want me to go there and see how the money I have earned for them in the past is being used. And that is the stuff I get really excited about.”
Ahead of a trip to the Middle East in 2009:
“I find the whole celebrity thing all quite sickening. I'm doing this to make some money out of something I enjoy doing. I've been to a few awards ceremonies recently. If you're famous, others will give 'the famous look'. They give you that wink that says, 'Hey, we're both famous.' Ugh.”
Cheryl:
On being a WAG:
"To be labeled as someone's wife I find very degrading as a woman. It's embarrassing and depressing when I hear kids say to me: 'I wanna be a WAG.' That's not a job. This generation is really having it pushed down their throat, that being a footballer's wife is the be all and end all. It's not. What if you get cheated on or beaten up? What are you going to do then? Stay there for the Chloé handbag? I don't think so.”
On doing what you love:
“If I'd had a sensible head on my shoulders when I was at school, I'd have loved to have gone into forensic detective work. I find it fascinating.”
On being yourself:
“As I've matured into a woman, I've reached the point where I realize I've got to concentrate on my best bits rather than struggle and strive for things I'll never achieve.”
On David Cameron saying he fancied her:
“He was just trying to be cool. I bet he couldn't name a single song of ours.”