You can listen to most our top 10 alternative Christmas songs on a specially created BitchBuzz Alternative Christmas playlist. There are a couple that aren't available on Spotify so I've substituted them with something suitably alternative and festive – enjoy and have a very Merry Christmas!
1. Greg Lake: I Believe in Father Christmas
Boy, this song is depressing. Nothing like a tale of lost childhood innocence and faith to get the Christmas spirit flowing, eh? It has all the trappings of a conventional Christmas song – celestial choirs, chiming guitars, sleigh bells, soaring Prokofiev strings and imagery of “eyes full of tinsel and fire” (which must really hurt). The lyrics tell another story. My Dad once described it as “the ultimate secular carol”, which sounds quite impressive, so I’ll go with that.
2. Ron Sexsmith: Maybe This Christmas
Here’s a song that makes me want to go out and hug strangers. It is all about the power of Christmas bringing people together and making us grateful for all of the special people in our lives. It is a reminder to move away from the commercial trappings of the season and look for something more meaningful. Pared down acoustic guitars, muted sleigh bells and Sexsmith’s earnest and honest vocals balance the sweet sentiment. It is all a little bit hand wringing and smug, but so is Band Aid. ‘Tis the season to be sanctimonious, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
3. Low: Just Like Christmas
This is one of those Christmas songs that isn’t actually about Christmas. The clue is in the title. It is also the Christmas anthem for serious muso types, who are all about “appreciating the music”. Low are lo-fi indie legends, so writing an obviously Chirstmassy tune would be far too straightforward. The song has the feel of a speeding sleigh ride. Just remember: however much it feels like Christmas, it really isn’t, OK?
4. Jimmy Eat World: Last Christmas
The OC was a TV show that, in my humble opinion, excelled at Christmas. Actually, that is incorrect; it excelled at Chrismukkah – Christmas and Hanukkah combined. Fictional he may have been, but Seth Cohen’s festive musical tastes were pretty decent. He had a thing for cover versions of festive pop classics by unlikely emo/pop rock artistes. The results are, erm, patchy. Rooney performing Slade’s “Merry Christmas Everybody” is truly dreadful. Thankfully, Jimmy Eat World somehow manage a respectable rendition of Wham!’s 1984 hit.
5. Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler: Jesus the Reindeer
This is just bizarre. Lyrical name checks include Dasher, Dancer etc., the cast of Friends, Sarah Palin and, of course, flying Jesus the Reindeer. You’ll probably need to go and listen to this power pop bundle of Christmas craziness to understand it fully.
6. Dan Wilson: What a Year for a New Year
A navel gazing Christmas classic! Put this on when you are feeling introspective and maudlin, turn on the Christmas tree lights, curl up and reflect on the good and bad bits of the year that has passed. Then eat lots of cheese, drink several glasses of prosecco and dance around to Lady Gaga – because life is too short to feel introspective and maudlin for more than four minutes and nine seconds.
7. Ben Folds: Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney
Whatever you do, don’t play this around kids or those who get easily offended. The conventional story of when Santa got stuck up the chimney involves some sneezing and the bearded fellow getting rescued by girls and boys desperate for some toys. In Ben Folds’ twisted universe, Santa gets stuck and dies a terrible and humiliating death. Folds also indelicately points out that Santa’s overwhelming girth contributed to his “fat ass” getting stuck in the first place. Funny, weird and unseasonably sweary.
8. Eels: Christmas Is Going to the Dogs
Ever wondered what Christmas is like for dogs? Mr E, AKA Mark Oliver Everett, has clearly spent a lot of time pondering this. One thing he is certain of is that they’d “rather have chew toys than Yule logs”. Told as a first canine narrative, Christmas Is Going to the Dogs is about a loyal dog and his festive preoccupations. It is full of Eels trademark bitter sweetness and makes a dog’s life seem not half bad.
9. Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen Medley
You can never go wrong with a good Christmas medley. This song is by people who clearly love Christmas; it bounces along from carol to carol with some jaunty syncopated rhythms that really get toes tapping. Sarah McLachlan’s dazzling soprano vocals compliment the playful voices of Barenaked Ladies, whilst everything feels warm and folksy. This track is 100% free of Scrooge-like snark and sarcasm, which makes it an oddity on this list.
10. The Waitresses: Christmas Wrapping
First the gentle tinkle of sleigh bells, then the guitar riff, then the bass and the drums kick in – I know this song far too well. The Spice Girls tired to cover it and it went horribly wrong. That’s because you can’t mess with eighties New Wave pop perfection! Especially not eighties New Wave pop perfection with a killer sax solo. The female vocalist starts of all “yeah, Christmas, whatever” but by the end of the song she is more like “Christmas! Hell yeah!”. If there is one lesson to take away from this song, it is that being careless with your cranberries can sometimes be a good thing...
Image via Mykl Roventine’s flickr.